This certificate certifies, mudracizes and officially declares the bearer to be an infinitely present member of the tribe of ancient yogis both visible and invisible.
This further constitutes universal consent to fully participate in Buddhaness, Jerry Garcianess and on-lineness of random delight.
The magical magistrates of the class of October 2012, hereby decree Erich Schiffmann be allowed entry into the universe through an infinite number of opening portals right freaking now in this sacred moment!!
Love and pranams,